It's funny how the body and mind work. A few years after you have a kid, its like, "Aawww....I want another one....this is so wonderful..." and yadda yadda yadda. Then you get pregnant and its like, "oooooh yeaaaahhhh.......nooooow I remember why we waited three years....." BLAH!
For the past couple weeks I have been feeling really great! Not sick at all, sort of tired, but manageable, and just a little emotional. About five days ago, it got worse: really sleepy ALL the time and SUPER emotional. I mean, it was getting ridiculous. If I asked Ella to put her shoes on and she didn't (okay, she is TWO!) it would make me want to cry. It was a little ridiculous. I was getting pretty frustrated because although I may be a passionate and overactive person, I'm not overly emotional. I RARELY cry and hardly ever get really worked up about things (I've learned this since high school, that was a different story :) haha!) So, the fact that here I was as this emotional wreck, was really frustrating.
Well, now that has past a little bit...and onto full on morning sickness, which I don't know why they call it morning sickness, since CLEARLY it lasts ALL day. It's at that point where certain smells are like, "gaaaaaag" and I'm really hungry, but the thought of eating makes me want to puke...but then once I eat, I feel a little better.....but then feel sick again. It's kind of a vicious cycle? Hopefully this goes away soon...but probably not. Boo.
Now, I'm sure most people reading my blog are like, "um...okay, who cares?" Well, I totally respect if you don't care. But, I'm not writing this blog for you people. It's for me and my kids. Sooooo, ten years from now, or twenty years from now, I can say, "See??? Look what I went through for you!!" Hahaha! :) Good stuff.
Also, I'm still a little bit in denial about the whole pregnancy thing, although seeing the ultrasound pictures on Andrea's blog (shout out, Andrea!) did make me REALLY excited to have a baby :) I'm still kind of freaked out over the whole thing. People keep asking me what is there to be freaked out about...uh...HELLO!? I'm worried about the whole pregnancy thing, about something going wrong, about something being wrong with the baby, about miscarrying, about the ACTUAL labor, what if something goes wrong with that? What if the epidural is messed up? What if I have to have an emergency c-section? What if I don't like my Dr.? What if my baby is colicky? Can I really handle having more than one kid, when one is sometimes so overwhelming? What if Ella is jealous of the new baby and is constantly picking on them? What if Ella uses the new sibling as a RECRUIT?! AH!
Yes, Ella's pregnancy and labor was like a DREAM. Sooooo easy! NOTHING went wrong. Everything was predictable. It was LOVELY. So yeah, it can only go downhill from that, right?? That is what I'm a little afraid of. *sigh* Too late now, though, right?!?? :) Hahaha!!
Oh, still no pictures. My computer decided to be stupid and quit working. So, there may not be pictures for a couple more weeks. Sorry :( I need to figure out how to put them on Tom's computer...soooo, yeah. Sorry!